Somewhere, today is a widow's Day 1.

and we need to remember that.

To say I am heartbroken over the recent events would not be getting to the heart of how I truly feel. I am going to try my best to articulate how I’m feeling without making someone’s else’s tragedy about my own, something I fear is so hard when events like yesterday happen and you’re reminded of your Day 1.

Tyler passed after a really normal day. I went to bed after fighting with him over the sink the night before, and hours later he was dead. I remember my Day 1 vividly & with the passing of Charlie Kirk on a public stage I was instantly transported back to my Day 1. My heart was heavy knowing the grief and the next few hours his wife would experience would be a time she will also be transported to in the years to come.

I work in the world of media and politics. I know the race to be the first to break a story. I know the race to be the first on TV to get your message across. I also have seen how we, as a country, have completely forgotten about the human beings who are living the tragedies we talk about.

Charlie’s wife Erika will always have to be careful about scrolling on social media because the video of her husband’s passing has been shared and played on loop and slowed down to the point where I feel sick looking at it. I can’t imagine what she feels. She will always have to avoid the comment section and headlines about her husband, written by people who THINK they knew him because of what they saw on TV. But you don’t know him & you certainly don’t understand the specific type of grief Erika is experiencing. What she will experience trying to raise her two children without their dad.

I know a little about it. I know that Day 1 feels like a mountain so big you’ll never climb it. I know that you get to Day 2, Day 3, Day 4 and then Day 100 but in between those days you’ll be brought right back to Day 1. I know that people will say things and comment things that are often times careless, but also sometimes evil. I know people will use the death of her husband for their own ‘whataboutism’ political rants.

We have lost the plot. We have become so chronically online we have forgotten the grief that follows the loss of a loved one is so deep it feels like you won’t survive it.

As a fellow widow, I beg you, to remember that somewhere it’s a widow’s day 1. Before you type something out to make your point, please remember that.

Thanks for being here,

B.